Time is getting away from me! I have had so many blog posts writing themselves in my head, but I just haven’t found the time to sit down and finish any of them. I decided to combine the last couple of weeks into one post. Here you go…the good, the bad and the ugly in my life.

THE GOOD

Oh! There has been so much good! I can’t even fit all the good into one post.

Thanksgiving was beautiful. We traveled up to Oregon for a couple of days to visit my dad and extended family. Everyone loved on our kids. We slept all 8 of us across the living room floor in sleeping bags. We laughed and took pictures and enjoyed each other. On Thanksgiving day we woke up in our own home and spent the morning in our pajamas watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. And we spent the afternoon introducing our children to turkey (tastes just like chicken!) and all the trimmings.

 

 

We went Christmas tree cutting! We loaded up the car and headed into the mountains to search for the most perfect of Christmas trees. All that our kids could think about was the possibility of seeing snow. They have talked about snow since we were in Ethiopia. Around the dinner table one night in the guest house, Levi assured us that he could slide down a snowy hill on those 2 long straight sticks all by himself. He didn’t need a teacher because he saw it in a Disney movie and so he knew exactly what to do. And since the weather here has started turning “cold”, our kids ask us constantly if it is going to snow tomorrow.

We made a bathroom pit stop near Lassen Park and lo and behold – SNOW!!! Well, it was actually a patch of frozen, dirty ice about the size of a kitchen mat….but to our children it was exactly what they had been dreaming about! They frantically dug their little fingers in and made “snowballs.” We are so looking forward to taking them sledding for the first time so we can share a true snow experience!

We hiked through the woods and (only because of the magic of Christmas) ALL 6 CHILDREN agreed on the perfect tree. Everyone ate their picnic lunch while Daddy chopped and dragged and hoisted and tied that perfect 10-foot-tall tree to the top of our car. Mission accomplished!

 

 

 

 

 

And today, we took the kids to see the production show “A Cascade Christmas.” All of those little faces were filled with rapture as they watched the singers and dancers and Santa and Mrs. Claus. They loved it! In fact, my girls are begging me to take them back to see the show again this weekend. And just now, while I was sitting here writing, Levi came in and climbed up in my lap. Here is a direct quote….”Today very fun. My good today….very fun day. I like today.”

(P.S. This item deserves at least an honorable mention for my good list – our doctor called and we are all officially giardia and parasite free!!!! Do you know what this means? NO MORE POOP COLLECTION FOR ME!)

I have to stop now or this blog post will be far too long. But really, I could add so much more here. And the fact that I have so many good stories to share – that in itself deserves an award.

We are so blessed to be able to experience these special firsts as a family. There have been so many times throughout these past weeks that I choked up as I watched my children’s faces. Their eyes grow big and round and their mouths don’t stop chattering as they ask question after question about our family traditions. Thank you Lord.

THE BAD

Oh my dear, sweet Leah. You are not bad!

I got a tattoo on the one year-anniversary of the beginning of our adoption journey. One year of waiting to meet our children! I had the Amharic word for “family” tattooed on my wrist. This made me very popular in Ethiopia where all the children in the orphanage would run their fingers over my wrist and marvel at the fact that a ferenji (foreigner) had Amharic on their body.

Last Saturday afternoon, after a very rough day, we found Leah crying and saw that she had “tattooed” the word BAD on her wrist.

We have so much to teach our children! So many years lost to us that need redeeming. So much discipline is required. But how do we find the balance between disciplining when it is needed and not making our children feel that all we ever do is point out their mistakes? No one wants to live in a constant state of negativity. We try to focus on postive rewards, praising the good when we see it, encouraging the correct behavior. And yet….some days it seems like we are constantly saying no.

Don’t talk to your sister like that.

Don’t disobey when I ask you to do something.

Don’t pick your nose in public.

Don’t eat with your fingers (you just picked your nose)!

Don’t lie to Mommy.

Don’t pinch (or hit, or kick, or punch).

Don’t leave your underwear on the counter.

The fact is, we are all sinners. We were born with an uncanny ability to do the wrong thing. Our God is a God of mercy and grace but He also disciplines us and teaches us. I want to be more like my God. I want to find that right balance between grace and discipline.

THE UGLY

My heart.

I have been struggling with jealousy.

Of my husband.

He has the life that I want!

You know, every morning he gets to take a shower! And then he gets dressed (usually in something that he hasn’t worn for the previous three days) and then he heads off to work. I am pretty sure this is where he chats with his friends, drinks leisurely cups of coffee, exchanges witty banter with co-workers, lunches in nice restaurants, eats warm food that he does not have to cut up for his lunch partners and takes 15-minute breaks whenever the heck he feels like it!

This is pretty much the exact opposite of my day.

Before we had children I had this noble vision of being a stay-at-home mom. In my daydreams, I giggled and played with my perfectly dressed offspring in the middle of our clean and inviting home. I greeted my husband with a kiss as he arrived home to a delicious dinner. I never raised my voice in anger but handled every situation with grace. And by the way, I looked darn good while I was doing all of this. My hair and make-up were amazing and my wardrobe was functional yet fashionable.

This is also pretty much the exact opposite of my day.

Honestly, it is not that I want to leave my children every day and go to work. I am thankful that I have the opportunity to stay home with them. I guess what I really want is to be a stay-at-home mom with a full-time nanny, maid and cook. (And also with perfectly behaved children who never need disciplining.)

Sometimes, especially after one of “those” days, I take out my frustration on my husband. I forget the fact that he has just completed 8 (or 9 or 10) hours at a stressful job. He has juggled employee’s requests, client’s irritations and the struggling economy. He walks in the door and I expect him to take over and give me a break because, hey….didn’t he just get done with his full-day vacation? So now that he is home, he needs to take out the trash and handle a certain child and pour the milk for dinner and….I am not going to ask nicely because WE ARE EQUAL PARTNERS IN THIS CRAZY ADVENTURE!!!!

I am starting to realize that God is asking me to die to myself. My own selfish desires can not be the measuring stick.

And He said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. Luke 9:23

Deny myself.

Take up my cross daily.

Follow Him.

I don’t want to make it sound like my life is full of sacrifice and that I am a self-righteous martyr/saint who thinks only of my husband and children. Because I am not! Just ask hubby dearest.

But if I could keep my attitude in alignment with what God asks of me, I think everything would be a lot more peaceful around here. Still working on this – keep praying for me!

I need to stop now! This is the longest blog post I have ever written. Half of you probably aren’t even still reading this because it was preceded by so many words. But if you are, let me sum up our last few weeks with this one word….

Blessings!

Natalie

Since we arrived home 3 months ago, I have been meaning to organize our pictures and put together a video about our family. Somehow, this project kept getting pushed to the bottom of my to-do list. I can’t imagine what else has been occupying my time!

Well, last week it finally happened. The video is done! But only because we were asked to share our story at Redding Rotary this past Thursday. This meant that either….

A) We would have to speak for 20 minutes.

B) We could show a 5 minute video and only have to speak for 15 minutes.

We chose option B.

It’s a good thing, too, because as most of you know….I tend to be a crier. In fact, the night before our presentation my husband warned me not to cry too much! He knew he was asking the impossible. But I promised him to do my best to be stoney-faced, emotionless and robotic.

(Actually, my sweet hubby was just worried that I would get so choked up that I wouldn’t be able to squeeze the words past the lump in my throat. He has had many years of exposure to my emotions.)

When I stood up to face the room of nearly 200 business leaders in our community, I was praying desperately that God would use my words to touch someone’s heart. That He would shine forth so brightly from our story that people would sit up and take notice. And that He would dam up my tears.

After only a few pauses, deep breaths, and sobs into the microphone (yes, seriously), I made it through!

Scott balanced me perfectly (as he does every day of my life) and wrapped up our presentation without shedding a single tear.

And then we shared this video. I so enjoyed putting it together and reminding myself of the powerful miracles God performed to make us a family of 8. Enjoy!

P.S. Let me know if you would like me to come and cry in front of you and your friends. It can be arranged.

Blessings!

Natalie

I keep a small notebook in my purse that is filled with lists. I need this notebook to keep my head on straight, and I love the feeling of crossing things off once I have completed them.

Here is a list of the lists in my notebook….:)

All the projects that need to be done around the house.

A grocery list – 2 actually, one for WinCo and one for Costco.

Miscellaneous household items needed list (i.e. cleats for Joel, water bottle for Leah, etc.)

To-do list for the week.

A list of appointments/phone calls I need to make.

A meal schedule for the coming week.

A list for children’s school work and due dates.

And finally – my list of Thanksgiving.

I started keeping this list one day when I was thinking about the great number of people who have been pouring into my life. The overflowing blessings I have been on the receiving end of. The selfless giving that has surrounded me in a very real way as we have adjusted to our new family/way of life.

Whenever something especially blesses my heart, I pull out my notebook and add to my list of Thanksgiving.

I have had a couple of rough days this week and so I decided to read over this list and remind myself of just how blessed I am.

Here are some excerpts….

*The swim instructor from Sun Oaks who offered my children free swim lessons.

*My neighbor Bob. He is a wonderful 86-year-old grandpa who is always puttering around outside. I have come home to potholes filled in on our driveway, a drainage ditch dug near our lawn, and new gravel to fill in the dirt patches on our road.

*My family – my mother-in-law and my mom are always willing to watch my 6 kiddos to give me a couple of hours to myself. And they actually enjoy it!

*The friends I have made from the members of Sun Oaks. These people come to take group exercise classes and they leave me with blessings – kind words, a gift card for shoes for my kids, a sweet note, a bag full of craft supplies, encouragement, affirmation.

*Dutch Brothers. Seriously. This is a blessing in my life.

*My dad who called and said he thought we would need a freezer in the garage to feed all these extra mouths. He gave me his credit card number and told me to go pick one out.

*A co-worker of Scott’s who then called and offered us part of a cow to fill that freezer.

*A friend who invited my family to dinner. She made homemade macaroni and cheese and chicken strips for the kids. She served us on china and used her linen napkins. She made us feel special. And like we weren’t a bother.

*The eye doctor who offered all six of my children free eye exams. Because we don’t have vision insurance. And did I mention that I have six kids? That would have been a BIG medical bill.

*The sweet lady who comes to my house every other week on my linen washing day. She re-makes all of my beds. Again, did I mention that I have six kids? Because that is A LOT of bed making!

*Another sweet lady who drops by every week or two just to check up on me and see what I need help with. One day she took care of my ironing pile. One day she hung up all of my laundry. One day she cleaned my kitchen counters.

*My friends who love on me and expect nothing in return. Because some days I just have nothing left to give.

*The Shasta Bible College students who spend an hour every week tutoring my children. And most importantly, the friend who coordinated this for me. She is a gem!

*The photographer who gifted my family our first-ever professional family pictures. Just take a look at the beautiful job she did!

 

 

I am going to stop there, although this is not every blessing that I have listed in my notebook. There are so many more!

As I have felt slightly defeated the last few days, and then as I looked over my list of blessings, a story from the book of Exodus came to mind. Moses was standing on a hill overlooking the battle below him. He held in his hands the staff of God. As long as Moses kept the staff raised in the air, the Israelites would win the battle. But as his arms grew tired and the staff lowered, the tide turned against them.

Moses’ arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. Exodus 17:12

I am so thankful for you. You go out of your way to minister to me. You continually bless my family. You selflessly give of your time and your talents because you want to help. You hold up my hands.

Blessings!

Natalie

When my family is walking the aisles of Costco, or grabbing a gallon of milk from WinCo, or attempting to eat lunch in a restaurant, we usually draw second glances. We aren’t exactly “normal.” Of course, I wasn’t exactly “normal” before we adopted 4 beautiful African children, either.

We have received so many comments and questions when we venture out in public.

“What beautiful children!”

“Are those all yours?”

“Are they all brothers and sisters?”

“Where are they from?”

Honestly, about 95% of the time I really don’t mind the questions. I think it is nice of people to be so interested in our story. I enjoy talking to others, and our adoption provides a vehicle for many great conversations with people whom I might have never otherwise interacted with. I feel like God has many appointments for me throughout the day and hopefully, I am keeping my eyes and ears in tune with His heart.

However, I have had 3 conversations lately that have really bothered me.

Conversation #1 –

My family and I walk into a convenience store to grab drinks and snacks. A large, hairy man approaches with a genuine smile on his face. He comes right up to Micah, starts rubbing his hair, and bends over to ask him, “What is your name, little guy?”

Looking up with a little bit of nervousness, Micah answers the man.

I step closer to provide encouragement for Micah and to run interference if this man starts to get any more friendly.

“Is this your son?” the man asks.

“Yes.”

“But, what I mean is, did you adopt him or is he your son?”

Ok. Really? I mean, unless you have vision problems (or are color blind) it is pretty obvious that I did not give birth to this boy. So are you a little slow on basic genetics, or do you think that if I adopted him, he is not really my son?

Conversation #2 –

This conversation actually took place with Leah. I don’t even remember what the context was, only that we were discussing her birth mother. And Leah, for the first time, called her “my real mom.”

This actually led to a very nice discussion on what family means. Her birth mother is her real mom. I am her real mom. We are both very “real.” The difference is how Leah came to be our daughter.

It really wasn’t Leah’s comment that bothered me, it was the fact that I have heard the phrase – “real mom” – so often in questions from people. I understand the underlying meaning in the phrase, and I try not to take it personally, but sometimes I just do.

So, yes. I am their real mom. And they are my real kids. Together, we make a real family.

Conversation #3 –

A very well-intentioned older gentleman wanted to encourage me. His heart was in the right place. I know this. He placed his hand on my shoulder and talked about the great blessing that adoption is, how God uses it to create families, how we will be forever changed because of it.

And then he concluded his comments with this….

“I have met many, many people from Africa. A lot of children and many older people, too. And I want you to know that people from Ethiopia are always the best. They are the smartest. They are the most beautiful. You are really lucky that your children came from Ethiopia.”

I feel the irritation building in my heart even now as I write this.

There are so many things wrong with this!

Seriously, my hands are shaking now as I type!

I am sorry, but this is racist. Yes, it is.

Racism isn’t always full of negative innuendos about a people group. It can be couched in positive terms. But it is still a general, blanket statement about my children based only upon their ethnicity.

I happen to agree. My children are smart. They are beautiful. But this is because that is the way God made them to be, not because they are from Ethiopia.

And, really? We are lucky our children came from Ethiopia?

Our children come from Ethiopia because that is where God told us to go to pick them up.

If He had led us to the Congo, or to China, or to the neighborhood next door, that is where we would have gone. And I would have been lucky that my children came from there. Because God ordained it and He planned on giving me the gift of these children. No matter where they were born.

Please don’t stop asking me questions. Please don’t stop talking to me about this crazy, wonderful thing that God has done in our family. Chances are, you are a part of the 95% of people who I really want to talk with.

But if you are part of that other 5%, I have decided that I am not going to smile and nod and ignore the fact that what you are saying is wrong. I am going to tell you, in loving terms (hopefully), my opinion on the matter.

And now, I will share a few pictures of my beautiful children as we picked pumpkins. Some of these children are Mexican. Some of them are White. Some are African. But they are all perfect. And they are all mine.

 

Blessings!

Natalie

How is home schooling going?

Well, that depends on the day.

As would my answer if you asked me how my children are doing, or how I am feeling, or if I have showered.

I have said in the past that my children would always attend private school. It was the only way for me. My children were not going to attend a public school (gasp) and I was not going to be one of those moms. (You know….the ones who home school. And cook everything from scratch. And garden. And churn their own butter.)

I also said that our family was complete after 2 children.

I also said “Fine, God. I will adopt ONE child UNDER the age of 5!”

God has a way of changing our plans.

Quite honestly, home schooling has been perfect for our family at this point. It has provided us that thing that we need the most – time together. I am so thankful that I decided to do this! We get to sleep in late, hang out in our pajamas, take field trips together, and pause for MANY recess activities. Just today our schooling was interrupted for rides on our neighbor’s tractor and experiencing the majesty of a hail storm. (And as of yet, I have not started churning my own butter.)

Not everything about home schooling is fun. It has been a challenge to balance the curriculum and needs of 6 children. Especially when 4 of those children require so much help understanding and following the most basic of instructions. I oftentimes find myself having Hannah and Joel complete their “studies” by reading the chapter and answering the questions while I focus on the other four.

But overall, I wouldn’t change a thing.

Except…..I am.

Today Leah started school.

Public school. (gasp)

Several weeks ago a counselor suggested that we put Leah in school. There are many reasons for this, most of which I will not detail here. But, we are hopeful that this opportunity will provide her a chance to be a 4th-grade-girl, surrounded by her peers, learning English and Math and how exactly to be a child again.

This has been a very hard decision for us to make. We thought about this and prayed about this for the past 6 weeks.

And I realized a few things.

First of all, this is the right decision for Leah for right now.

And secondly, I care too much about what other people think.

As we struggled through making our decision, I found myself too often wondering about the response I would get. What about the adoptive community? Are they going to say that I did wrong by not providing enough bonding time with my new daughter? What about the home school community? Are they going to say that I gave up too easily? What about my friends? Maybe they won’t think I’m as “super” of a supermom because I will only be home schooling 5 children!

And if I am being brutally honest, nothing has changed. I still care too much about what other people think! Maybe I always will. But I know that I desire to care more about what God thinks. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9

And I owe an apology to any of my friends who I ever “gasped” at when you told me your children went to public school. That was wrong of me. I am sorry.

God is using this adoption journey to mold me and change me in so many ways. The further we get into it, the more I hope that my heart changes to be more like His. I pray the same for my children.

Leah, if you one day read these words, all the many stories surrounding your home coming that I am sharing in this blog, I hope you can feel the love that supports every sentiment on this page. I pray that right now, be you 15 or 50, you will realize afresh how much we prayed for you and agonized over you. How our hearts were filled with such a combination of concern and hope for your future.

Leah, you are our biggest challenge. Not because of YOU, but because of what you have endured. The challenges that you have faced. It is so hard to show you, a 9-year-old girl who has never known anything other than being a caretaker to your sweet sister and brothers, exactly how to be a child. We are so proud of your attitude! How you are willing to try new things. The way that you show no fear (even when I know you are feeling it inside.) Just look at this picture of you on your first day of school – ready to take on the world!

When Leah came home this afternoon, she was full of nothing but excitement and pride over her first day in 4th grade. She chattered on about her new friends and about how the work was “no too hard!”

Only God knows what our future holds. Maybe mine holds more home schooling. Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe my kids will be in public school. Maybe they won’t. (I am pretty sure my future does not hold any butter churning, but I can’t be absolutely sure.) I am just going to trust that God will direct our paths as we struggle through this parenting thing.

 

 

 

Blessings!

Natalie

We have the joy of witnessing so many firsts in our children’s lives.

The first time they rode a bicycle.

The first unsolicited hug/kiss and “I love you.”

The first chance to comfort little hearts and wipe tears from little cheeks.

The first time worshipping together with our church family.

The first time they glimpsed the ocean.

My heart is filled with the joy we experienced as a family last weekend.

Just look at this picture. The absolute abandon of our children as they rushed down the sand and into the ocean for the first time.

And this….a video I took as they giggled and splashed and tasted the ocean water.

I posted last week about how I feel as though our family has finally turned a corner. Our days are slowly being filled with more cherished memories and less stress and tears. As Scott and I sat on that beach and watched our children splash in the ocean, we felt as though we had passed through the storm and were experiencing some of the peace that was waiting for us all along on the other side. We know that we will not have smooth sailing from here on out, but God never promised us that. He only promised that He would be with us no matter the storms we face.

The words to this song come to mind…..

When the oceans rise and thunders roar,

I will soar with You, above the storm.

Father, You are king over the flood,

I will be still and know You are God.

Find rest my soul in Christ alone,

Know his power, in quietness and trust.

We had rest for our souls this weekend.

We had laughter.

We had memories.

We had the power of a God who restores broken hearts and builds families.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am so thankful for our weekend. I am thankful for my family. For my children. For my God – who is “the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them–the LORD, who remains faithful forever.” Psalms 146:6

Blessings!

Natalie

 

I have gotten many comments about how people are appreciative of the fact that I am open and honest in my blog. You all seem to like it that I don’t sugar-coat the real happenings in our home. So in that spirit, I will now share with you some excerpts from my week….

~I yelled at my children. More than once. More than twice.

~I slapped Levi’s hand. I know this doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I am really not supposed to EVER hit/spank/slap my kids because of the feelings and memories it can dredge up. I have done very well obeying this rule until this week. And then, when we were in the middle of WinCo, I had 5 other children dancing around me and begging asking for things, and Levi touched something for the 10th time after being told not to….I slapped his hand.

~I fed my kids frozen pizza. (Although I did serve it with a side of broccoli so this might only be half-bad.)

~I hid in the pantry. Yep. I heard a storm brewing in the front room, I heard the crying start, and I heard a little voice coming down the hallway calling, “Moooooommy!” And so I hid in the pantry. Until that little voice had to change their tune to, “Daaaaaaady!” and he came out to take care of business. Then I came out of the pantry.

~I cried during a meeting with our home school coordinator. Poor lady! She asked me if this was a regular occurence or if she had done something special to cause my reaction. I assured her that yes, I actually cry very frequently these days.

~I washed only my children’s feet and called it a bath.

~I picked up the grapes that I spilled all over the kitchen floor and I served them to my children for lunch. Without washing them.

~I had a doctor’s appointment and left all 6 kiddos home with Scott. I sat in the doctor’s waiting room for an extra 15 minutes just reading a magazine. And it felt like a vacation.

~I sprayed down my stinky gym clothes with perfume and re-wore them. (Okay, this actually happened even before I had 6 children.)

~I did that “I-can’t-see-you-but-I-sure-can-reach-you-while-I-am-driving” backwards-slap on Hannah’s leg during a particularly loud crying tantrum.

~I had to assure my children that I was NOT pregnant after Levi grabbed my stomach and asked, “Baby in here, Mommy?”

~I let my children ride scooters in the house. And roller skate. Here is proof….

But, you know something? For every moment that made it onto my “bad” list, there was a moment that filled my heart with joy.

~I had a sleepover with my girls. We did hair. We told stories. We giggled. I loved every minute of it.

~Levi crawled up into my lap, lay his head on my shoulder, and snuggled with me for 3 whole minutes!

~Micah told me, “I love you, Mom.”, without me initiating it or prompting him.

~Hannah told me as I served the frozen pizza and broccoli, and as I was commenting about our stinky dinner, “I love this, Mom! I love everything you make!”

~Scott tripped and fell, landing hard on his back. Joel gathered all the kids around and had them pray together for healing.

~I made a dinner that did not prompt even one little complaint. Everyone ate it and enjoyed it. Indian food – who knew?

~Driving home one evening, my children filled the car with the sound of beautiful little voices praising our God.

I feel like I can now say that MORE than 50% of this journey is filled with joy, and LESS than 50% is filled with stress. It depends on the day, and it is still a very close contest. But I do believe that joy is winning at least 51% of the time.

“This is the day that the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it!”

Blessings!

Natalie

 

Tomorrow marks 3 months since the judge signed our adoption decree and we became a family.

3 months.

July 4 – October 4.

I have been thinking about what I want to share about these last 3 months. The emotions? The struggles? The joy? The progress?

Yes. I do want to share all of that. But really, when I boil it all down I am left with the essential ingredient. I want to share about what God has done.

“Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.” Psalm 40:5

The things He has planned for us.

God has a plan for each and every one of us.

I think about His plan for me.

He planned for me to walk the road of cancer and loss with 2 amazing women whom I am privileged to call dear friends.

He planned for me to become a mother of six.

He planned for me to adopt children from Ethiopia.

He planned for me to spend my summer in Africa.

Do you know that if you had asked me just 3 years ago about my plans, not even one of those things would have been on my list? And not even one of those things would have been something I would have willingly chosen for myself.

And now, I could not imagine my life any other way.

Yes, there is pain in every item on that list. There is hardship and tears and struggle. But there is also joy. Comfort. Peace that passes understanding. Grace for each new day.

I remember listening to a missionary speak once, years ago, about his fears regarding stepping out into the unknown. Don’t we too often let fear stop us from doing something that we know we ought to do? I know I do. But this missionary said something that I think of often…..

The safest place to be is in the center of God’s will for your life.

If we would just trust that God is bigger than us, that He knows better than us, and that He has only our best interests in mind….then maybe we would be willing to obey Him just a little more often.

I also think about His plan for my children.

He planned this time as a refining fire for my oldest son. Joel is being shaped and molded into a young man right before my very eyes. Do you think that this year is going to mark him forever? I know it is. His heart is being softened towards the things of heaven in very real ways.

He planned on giving Hannah the challenge of seeing others through His eyes. Through eyes of love and compassion. I know it is hard for her (and for all of us) to look beyond the behavior to see the heart, but she is slowly learning how. And one day, she will realize that God had planned for her to have 2 amazing sisters to love.

He planned for Leah to be my daughter. Although she doesn’t understand it now, she will one day appreciate the opportunity to be just that – a daughter. Not a caretaker. Not a mother. Not a young girl with the weight of the world on her shoulders. God planned for her to be my daughter. And His. A daughter of the Most High.

He planned for Naomi to find the peace that her sensitive heart desires. He saw her tender spirit and He protected her. He delivered her. And He re-united her with her sister. That was His plan all along.

He planned for Micah to be Scott’s son. Have you seen the way that boy hangs on Scott? His shoulders, his back, wrapped around his legs…it is like Micah is glued to Scott’s side. He gave Micah an earthly role model of his Heavenly Father.

He planned for Levi to have room to laugh. My Levi is full of joy. Laughter trickles out of him all day long. God gave my boy a reason to laugh again. He provided him joy in his heart overflowing. He made him our baby.

And this is just the beginning. Oh, do I eagerly anticipate watching God’s plan unfold in our family and in the lives of my children. But no matter what His plan looks like, I know this….

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

3 months down….the rest of our lives to go!

 

 

Blessings!

Natalie

Underwear and pictures of poop.

Seriously. This is what my life involves right now.

My kiddos have all been having stomach issues since we came home. Nothing too serious but the doctor wants to make sure there are no unwelcome visitors living in their guts. You know….giardia, parasites and the like. We went in for a check-up this week and I received my assignment.

Collect samples.

Yep.

This in itself would be a lot of fun, but then the doctor added a bonus to my homework.

Take pictures.

If anything looks strange, funky, or downright unwelcome in my toilet, grab my camera and snap a quick picture. I guess this provides me an opportunity to be thankful for my iPhone. Just another wonderful benefit of picture text messaging!

And fighting over underwear.

I had to mediate between crying sisters over the issue of whether their underwear matched or not.

I realize this might not be a hot button topic in your home, but here in the Putnam household, this is a VERY BIG DEAL!

We have been dealing with the dynamics of the sister triad since day one. In all seriousness, this is a hard adjustment for our family to make. Leah and Naomi have a very special, loving relationship. Naomi prayed for her sister to be re-united with her every single night that she was in the orphanage. And God answered her prayer. They share a common history, language and culture. And Hannah does not.

How to navigate this rocky road? I still haven’t figured it out!

Hannah has not helped the situation with her response to feeling left out. She lashes out in anger. She screams. She cries. She disobeys. She is a cauldron of emotions that she does not understand or know what to do with.

At bedtime Hannah purposely dallies until the other girls are in their pajamas. And then she will find and put on the same pajamas. We end up with a matching threesome of beautiful sisters.

Unless Leah decides to change.

And Hannah decides to cry.

And then we just end up with a mess.

We have talked to all of the girls about the importance of being kind, of including each other, of how special sisters are. And we have started hanging out in their bedroom during pajama time to mediate.

And then last night, Hannah tumbles down the stairs in tears because Leah and Naomi had matching underwear and she did not.

It turns out that after pajamas were on and I thought, mistakenly, that everyone was playing nicely, Leah and Naomi hid in the corner and CHANGED THEIR UNDERWEAR! Oh the horror!

Then they showed Hannah.

Who, of course, reacted badly.

Even in the middle of calming tears, discussing family behavior, and changing underwear, I thought to myself, “This is kind of funny! I wonder how many of my friends are dealing with underwear issues right now. I wonder if any of my friends are WEARING matching underwear right now. If so, I sure feel left out!”

Please, pray for me.

Underwear and poop.

I just need a lot of prayer.

Blessings!

Natalie

 

 

My life is busy!

I guess 6 kids, home schooling, football practice, gymnastics, doctors/dentist appointments, teaching fitness classes, and dealing with my girls’ sister drama will do that to you!

The thing is, I was kinda made for this. It is almost like God had this planned for my life from the very beginning. He instilled in me many of the skills needed for managing this life.

He made me organized. I love lists and schedules and chore charts and lesson plans. These things make me happy.

 

He made me optimistic. I naturally see the good in things. Finding the silver lining has never been my problem. I am so thankful that MOST days and in MOST situations, I find joy.

He made me Mexican. Really this has nothing to do with anything, but it just makes me happy!

But…..

He did not make me relaxed. No. I actually thrive on pressure and energy. I am definitely not the one who brings peace into our home.

He did not make me slow to anger. Daily I have to fight against my hair-trigger temper. I have to take deep breaths and talk myself down from responding to my children (or my husband) in un-loving and un-kind ways. Many times I fail. I have a hard time viewing the situation from anyone else’s point of view.

He did not make me patient. This is the down-side to the organized part of me. If anything threatens to interrupt my plans for the day, I get VERY impatient! Fighting and crying between the sisters? Forget trying to deal with the root of the issue! Dry up those tears! My schedule calls for grocery shopping. Somersaulting down the stairs and landing in a heap against the wall? Wipe off that blood! I have an appointment to get to! (Okay, maybe I am not that bad. Or just maybe I am.)

The problem is, sometimes I am so focused on my to-do list that I forget to LIVE. Do you know what I mean?

I was recently reading Ann Voskamp’s book One Thousand Gifts and I settled on the chapter entitled “a sanctuary of time.” This whole concept resonates deeply within me.

A sanctuary of time.

What a lovely idea.

We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. Psalm 39:6

“All our busy rushing” sounds a lot like my life. How about yours?

And this….

“Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I’ve ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing…. Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away.” Mark Buchanan

Ugh! This pierced my heart. Am I so busy being in a hurry that I am going to wake up one day and realize that I missed my life?

I am so often guilty of not being fully present with my children because my mind is so busy planning the next thing.

Have you ever heard this quote before? “Wherever you are, be all there.”

I am trying to make this my goal. Being ALL there. For my children. For my husband. For myself. So I don’t wake up one day and realize I missed it all.

Ann Voskamp said this, “I just want time to do my one life well.”

Me too. Oh Lord, help me. Me too.

Blessings!

Natalie