My life is busy!
I guess 6 kids, home schooling, football practice, gymnastics, doctors/dentist appointments, teaching fitness classes, and dealing with my girls’ sister drama will do that to you!
The thing is, I was kinda made for this. It is almost like God had this planned for my life from the very beginning. He instilled in me many of the skills needed for managing this life.
He made me organized. I love lists and schedules and chore charts and lesson plans. These things make me happy.
He made me optimistic. I naturally see the good in things. Finding the silver lining has never been my problem. I am so thankful that MOST days and in MOST situations, I find joy.
He made me Mexican. Really this has nothing to do with anything, but it just makes me happy!
He did not make me relaxed. No. I actually thrive on pressure and energy. I am definitely not the one who brings peace into our home.
He did not make me slow to anger. Daily I have to fight against my hair-trigger temper. I have to take deep breaths and talk myself down from responding to my children (or my husband) in un-loving and un-kind ways. Many times I fail. I have a hard time viewing the situation from anyone else’s point of view.
He did not make me patient. This is the down-side to the organized part of me. If anything threatens to interrupt my plans for the day, I get VERY impatient! Fighting and crying between the sisters? Forget trying to deal with the root of the issue! Dry up those tears! My schedule calls for grocery shopping. Somersaulting down the stairs and landing in a heap against the wall? Wipe off that blood! I have an appointment to get to! (Okay, maybe I am not that bad. Or just maybe I am.)
The problem is, sometimes I am so focused on my to-do list that I forget to LIVE. Do you know what I mean?
I was recently reading Ann Voskamp’s book One Thousand Gifts and I settled on the chapter entitled “a sanctuary of time.” This whole concept resonates deeply within me.
A sanctuary of time.
What a lovely idea.
We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. Psalm 39:6
“All our busy rushing” sounds a lot like my life. How about yours?
“Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I’ve ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing…. Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away.” Mark Buchanan
Ugh! This pierced my heart. Am I so busy being in a hurry that I am going to wake up one day and realize that I missed my life?
I am so often guilty of not being fully present with my children because my mind is so busy planning the next thing.
Have you ever heard this quote before? “Wherever you are, be all there.”
I am trying to make this my goal. Being ALL there. For my children. For my husband. For myself. So I don’t wake up one day and realize I missed it all.
Ann Voskamp said this, “I just want time to do my one life well.”
Me too. Oh Lord, help me. Me too.