What a difference a week makes!

What a difference prayer makes!

What a difference a change of focus makes!

One week ago I wrote about my feelings of barely keeping my head above the water line. I felt emotionally exhausted. I don’t want to share all of my children’s secrets, but let me just say that every day involved tears and tantrums.

On Wednesday we staged an intervention!

Or more accurately, we called our friends (one of only two families in town who speak our children’s native tongue), and asked if we could hold a family meeting and use them to help interpret. We wrote down the things that needed to be said. We gathered all of our children around us on the couch. As we slowly and carefully laid out our rules and expectations, we punctuated every sentence with unconditional love.

The meeting ended in tears. Both Naomi and Leah were in a sobbing puddle on the couch. Their cries had everything to do with them needing to release their emotions, and nothing to do with our expectations. It was cathartic. We held them and smoothed the hair back from their sweaty foreheads while we reassured them that yes, it was okay to cry. In fact, it was good for them to let it all out.

We also sought advice from a friend of ours who is a counselor. And what he said struck home. He suggested that in our concern over making our newest additions feel that they are loved and wanted, we were worrying just a little too much about hurting their feelings and not quite enough about establishing our authority.

Enough of that! No more Mr. Nice Guy! We were just given permission to be mean…I was going to run with it.

And do you know what I discovered?

A lot of the emotional exhaustion I had been feeling was my own fault. I was so busy second-guessing every parenting decision I made that I had no energy left over for anything else. I was worrying myself sick over how my children would perceive the punishment, or the tone of my voice, or the fairness of my decision. Instead of over-thinking everything, I decided to trust that God would use my parenting, as inadequate as it might be, to help heal little hearts. “Lord,” I started praying, “please go before me and pave the way and follow behind me and clean up my mess!”

And He has.

I don’t know if I have seen a huge improvement in my children’s behavior this week, but I have seen a huge improvement in my heart. I have felt the joy of the Lord becoming my strength – again. This will probably be a process that has to be repeated over and over in the coming years!

Saturday was our best day so far as a family of 8. We started chores with the task of cleaning bedrooms. And for the first time, all 3 of my girls played together without me having to initiate it. They decided that if they had to clean, they must be Cinderella. And I must be the wicked step-mother. They put on their aprons and set to work – right after they ordered me to bed. Do you remember the scene in the movie where the wicked step-mother is lying in bed petting her cat? I played my part in that scene perfectly, for 30 minutes, while my little “Cinderellas” cleaned their entire bedroom. And not once did anyone argue or cry!

I snapped this picture as I walked behind my girls into the grocery store. Doesn’t it tell a beautiful story?

This week we also celebrated my darling Hannah’s 8th birthday. Please continue praying for her little heart. She has probably been having the roughest time of all of us adjusting to our new family. But for one day, she was the center of attention! And that is exactly how she likes it 🙂

Blessings!

Natalie

I have been busy surviving.

Imagine that you are on a beautiful tropical island.

The breeze is balmy. The sun is warm. The view is spectacular.

And you are stranded in the water just 100 yards offshore. You can’t swim back against the strong current no matter how hard you try. You are stuck treading water. You are focused only on surviving. The breeze and the sun and the view are all there, but you can’t enjoy them because it is all you can do to keep your head above water.

This is how I feel most of the time.

I know there are beautiful, precious little souls surrounding me, but I am so busy surviving that I can not truly enjoy them just now.

It seems as though my entire day consists of meeting someone else’s needs. Cooking. Dishes. Laundry. School. Dishes. Wiping bottoms. Wiping noses. Dishes.

And I think I would be able to handle all of this if it weren’t for the emotional fatigue that threatens to overwhelm me. My number one job these days? Mediating. Constant mediating.

And yes, even though I am not supposed to, I worry. Will this turmoil cause permanent damage to Joel and Hannah? Will our family’s love be able to undo the hurt in Leah, Naomi, Micah and Levi’s past?

Some days are better than others. This was not one of those days.

But even when I feel like I do right now, even when I am bent under the weight of what we are shouldering, even when all I want to do is drop into bed and ignore the dirty dishes in the sink, I have a hope for what I can glimpse on the horizon. I know that this will all get easier with time.

I know I have shared this verse in a previous post, but it is worth sharing again. This is the verse that keeps me going. This is the verse that runs through my head over and over on days like today. This is my promise from a God who loves me.

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.  ~ Phillipians 1:6

And I am thankful that even on days like today, I am still being honest when I end my post like this….

Blessings!

Natalie

(Because that is what He has given me – 6 beautiful blessings.)

This week we celebrated Micah and Levi’s birthday. They have never celebrated a birthday before. In Ethiopia there was no birth record for them. In fact, their birth date is just an educated guess. We were so excited to be able to throw them their first ever birthday party.

The night before the party Joel stayed up late trying to figure out the perfect present to give his brothers. He insisted it be something only from him. He wanted it to be something special. He finally settled on his scooter. Joel cleaned up his well-loved and much-used scooter and packaged it up in a large box. He wrapped it himself (with A LOT of duct tape) and then attached a homemade card. It said…

Happy Birthday Micah and Levi.

You are great brothers.

I love you very much.

Love, Joel

He set the box and the card at the bottom of the stairs so the boys would find it first thing in the morning.

I was worried about this whole scenario.

Our children came from a life of almost nothing. In the orphanage, they did not have even one possession to call their own. Everything was community property. They got one outift to wear on a Monday and wore it for the next 3 days until wash day. They had a few deflated soccer balls to share among the boys. There were some books in the school room. Often times adopting families would show up with little trinkets to hand out. Bubbles. Stickers. Lollipops. These were all used and re-used and shared among everyone.

And then they come to America. The land of plenty. The land of consumerism. They see stores filled with aisles and aisles of beautiful new clothes and amazing new toys. They see homes filled with more belongings than they have been exposed to in their entire life. They see their mom and dad go to a magic machine where you simply push some buttons and money comes out. And they assume that anything they desire should be theirs. They don’t understand when we say “no” or “too much.” They don’t like it when we give them used or second best. They don’t understand why we are trying to teach them thankfulness. Why should they be thankful, anyway?

They lost their father.

They lost their mother.

They lost their country.

And we want them to say thank you?

Friday morning Joel is waiting excitedly for Micah and Levi to wake up and head downstairs. He shows them his gift. He helps them unwrap it. He watches with anticipation as they examine the new scooter. And his face fills with sadness as Micah says, “This dirty. Me no like.”

Joel tries to understand. I see him struggling with his feelings as he takes Micah out to the garage and shows him how much fun it can be. And he asks Micah several times, “Do you like it? Do you want it?”

And Micah says no.

And my heart breaks.

For both of my boys. Both of whom don’t understand.

I don’t want you to think poorly of Micah. He doesn’t know any better. And really, aren’t we all just as selfish and sinful? We just do a better job of hiding it from the rest of the world.

I tried to remedy the situation by talking to Joel about why Micah reacted the way he did. And talking to Micah about why he should be thankful. But in all honesty, I don’t think I helped much. Joel ended up in tears and Micah ended up angry. So we picked up the pieces and moved on.

You know, blending all these personalities and histories and emotions into a family is going to take time. Love is not something that I can demand or expect from any of my children. Learning thankfulness is a long process. For some of us, it is a life-long process. Don’t we all struggle with thankfulness now and then? Don’t we all have times where we complain to God about what we have, and instead ask for more or better?

But let us try this…. “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 and “Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever!” Psalm 107:1

After all was said and done, we ended up having a great birthday! We had friends and family over for a swim party, a pinata, and of course cake and presents.

The boys seemed a little overwhelmed by all of the attention, but I don’t think they will ever forget their first birthday party. And I hope they don’t forget the lesson on thankfulness; something we all need to work on every now and then.

Happy Birthday to my littlest boys – Micah, age 7 and Levi, age 5.

Blessings!

Natalie

I started writing this blog with two main goals in mind…

#1 – to give my children the gift of memories

My children have no baby pictures. They have no stories about their first words or their first steps. But I want them to have the story about their first days as a part of our family. One day I want them to read these words and know how much we loved them and prayed for them and fought for them. I want them to know it was the desire of my heart to make them mine.

#2 – to direct attention towards Jesus Christ

God is alive and working, my friends. He is powerful and mighty. He is in the business of healing and restoring. He creates families. “Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.” Psalms 68:5-6

I want the story of what God has been doing in our family to cause people to stop and think. I want our lives to demonstrate a passion for something that is not of this world. I want the miracles that God has performed in my life to be like stones dropped in a pond, the ripples of which spread out and touch many others.

God has used our adoption story as a vehicle for His message. We have had the opportunity to talk to so many people that we otherwise might never have met. We have been asked to share our story with our church family, at a local Rotary club meeting, and on our local news channel.

When KRCR first contacted us about doing a short segment about our family, Scott and I talked about whether or not we should say yes. Would this be too much attention/stimulation for our children? Would they be overwhelmed by the camera in the middle of their school time/play time? Would they behave themselves and not embarrass us on television 🙂 ? But we realized that this was one more opportunity to spread God’s story just a little bit further. The chance to say to anyone who is watching, “Look at what God did! Isn’t He awesome?”

So yesterday morning, Mike Mangas showed up with his camera.

The biggest challenge was keeping our children from loving his camera a little too much!

Mike interviewed both Scott and I and he asked many questions about why we decided to adopt. We used this opportunity to say the name of God as many times as we could!

I was so happy with the way our little segment turned out. We were allowed the opportunity to talk about God and all that He is doing in our family on public television! Here is a link to our story….

http://www.krcrtv.com/news/local/Redding-Family-Adopts-Four-Children-From-Ethiopia/-/14322302/16486248/-/cx8sd5z/-/index.html

Blessings!

Natalie

My husband goes back to work soon. As I have thought about this upcoming change (with much trepidation), I have compiled a list of some of my husband’s strengths and weaknesses.

What he does not do….

*toilets

*floors

*cook

*his hair

What he does do….

*love unselfishly

*play

*keep me somewhat sane

*make toast

After comparing these lists I realized that his strengths far outweigh his weaknesses and….I AM GOING TO MISS HAVING HIM HOME!

Even though our days are so busy that we haven’t completed a full conversation in at least 23 days,

and even though we get stressed and find it easy to release that stress by snapping at each other,

and even though our current idea of a date is sitting in a dark movie theatre on either end of a row of 6 children (this really happened and I really texted him during the movie to thank him for taking me out),

and even though while I was writing this very blog I asked him to leave the room because he was bothering me (ironic but true),

I am going to miss his calming, good-natured, easy-going presence around the house.

I have had full access to his time for the last 3 1/2 months. This was a huge blessing for our family and I do not take it lightly. There are not many jobs that would allow a 3 month hiatus. There are not many companies with such supportive and loving employees. Everyone at Apex has given our family a gift by allowing my husband time away for this journey. And thankfully, when he heads back to the office he will only be working part-time for a while. Not only will this allow him more time to bond with our new children, it will also give him the opportunity to learn how to clean toilets and scrub floors – a life-long dream of his!

I still have him home for a few more days so we are enjoying the last of our summer. We introduced our newest additions to the delicious mess of s’mores. I had to demonstrate exactly what the big white gooey things were, but after one bite, they were convinced that we should eat these every day!

Thank you for your continued prayers for our family. I see little improvements every day. I feel God’s supporting hand every minute.

Blessings!

Natalie

How are your children doing?

How are you handling being a mom of 6?

How is your family adjusting to all the changes?

So many friends have asked me these questions over the last 10 days. And the answers they received have depended entirely upon my mood at that particular moment.

If you asked me last Wednesday, I would have told you that things were going splendidly! We started our first day of home school that day and EVERYONE followed directions as if they had been doing it their whole life. Joel and Hannah went off to their classes with new backpacks and big grins. They will be attending a home school charter school two mornings a week. This will give them a chance to get out of the house and socialize with other kiddos, and it will give me a chance to focus on the schooling for the other four.

First day of school

I spent the morning teaching our first school lesson entitled “How To Do Your Chores.” We learned things like how to put your shoes away and where we keep our pajamas. We also spent an hour on the subject “How To Clean Your Room.” Then we did an art project involving stamp pads and the letters of our names. We finished our school day with P.E. (swimming and popsicles).

Learning our names

P.E. - our favorite!

By the time we finished school and picked up Joel and Hannah, it was time for me to teach my Zumba class. Anyone who knows me knows that I love this part of my life! I finished the day on a happy, sweaty note and came home to a dinner that had been prepared and left for me by some wonderful person! Now keep in mind, my husband was home all day too. He doesn’t officially go back to work until after labor day. So there were 2 of us here to handle it all.

So for any friends who asked me on Wednesday….everything was great! I got this thing!

Fast forward to this weekend.

Friday night I walk into my girl’s room to find two of my daughters physically fighting it out on the carpet. Pinching was involved. And kicking. And lots of screaming and crying.

Saturday morning I got a lovely text from a group of ladies inviting me to join their Tuesday morning book discussion group. I appreciated the invite! I really, honestly did. In fact, I hope all of you out there keep inviting me to do things. But for some reason, when I got that text, it seemed to hit me all at once. I won’t be attending Tuesday morning book clubs, or Thursday morning bible studies, or meeting my friends for lunch for quite a while. Because I HAVE 6 KIDS! And I AM HOME SCHOOLING! At that moment, standing in my kitchen, reading that sweet text…I felt like my life as I knew it was over.

Saturday afternoon found me throwing a little party for my beautiful niece who was turning one. We had family and friends over for swimming, a pinata and ice cream sundaes. My husband, while trying his hardest, was very busy with a big purchase for work. He was in and out of the house and on the phone all day. I was emotional. My house was messy. There might have been some crying during the party – from me.

Saturday night we got in our jammies and told family stories. And as the stories started to flow out of my newest four, my heart started to ache. We smiled and hugged and encouraged them to keep talking, but inside I was wondering just how many hurts one little heart can handle. How much time will it take for them to heal?

And today? Well today was just stinky. One of my best friends is moving this week. All the way to Spokane, Washington. And all of the emotions of the past three months for me (and for her) boiled over today. We exchanged some terse words. Ladies, you understand this. With your very best, closest friends whom you love with all your heart…it is almost like they are family. You feel things deeply. And there might have been some more crying – again from me.

So right now, if you asked me, I would have to say that it is hard. Everything. It is just hard.

I would estimate that about 50% of the time I feel encouraged and I am enjoying the blessings of our journey. And the other 50% of the time I am emotional and stressed and wondering when I will feel normal again.

My prayer is that the percentages will slowly shift. One day I would love to wake up and realize “Hey, I feel somewhat normal. In fact, I am somewhat normal!”

But until that day comes, I am going to keep reciting this verse over and over to myself….

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.  ~ Phillipians 1:6

I know that this is just the beginning. God began this work in our lives so I can be confident that He will complete it and perfect it.

Blessings!

Natalie

One year ago yesterday, Peter Crawford went home to heaven.

This was the day we had been praying about. We had asked God to allow Scott to be home by August 21 so that he could spend the day with Peter’s family, remembering his best friend. And God answered our prayers abundantly.

Peter's dad, wife and children

Praying for healing and hope

Throwing rose petals into the river

Amanda, Claire and Ethan...no longer just friends, but a part of our family

We met Peter and Amanda and their children four years ago when their family moved to Redding. They started attending our church and joined the bible study we hosted in our home. We quickly became fast friends. Scott and Peter developed the kind of friendship that few men seem to share. The kind of friendship that was full of fun, laughter and “manly” activities but also contained a depth as they were real with each other and with the Lord. They prayed together. They worshipped together. They held each other accountable.

In May of 2011, Peter was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. By August 21, Peter was dead. Three short months from diagnosis to death. Three short months to fight the disease, to create memories, to say goodbye.

Just days before Peter died, he experienced healing. That’s right. He was healed. For one night.

For weeks he had been in so much pain that he could barely walk. His arm was in a sling and he was unable to lift it more than 2 inches away from his body. He moaned continually. He had a hard time opening his eyes because the lights caused severe headaches.

And then on a Friday evening following a day where Peter’s friends and family fasted and prayed for healing, Peter and Amanda experienced a miracle. They received a gift from God. One last pain-free night to spend together.

There is a video of that evening. Pete and Amanda wanted to document the goodness of our God as they said their goodbyes. One of Peter’s dear friends transcribed the video and I have shared this with you here. As you read this, let it remind you of the goodness of our God. Through the trials of this life, He is good. Through the valley of the shadow of death, He is good. Through our uncertainties and fears of the future, He is good.

Transcript of Pete and Amanda’s version of good Friday:

Amanda: It’s Friday, August 12th [2011] and we were just wanting to document what God is doing in our lives right now.

Peter: …and the progress of the cancer that is in my body. My arm has been in a sling for probably the last two weeks.

Amanda: And in a great deal of pain.

Peter: A great deal of pain. I would have to lift my arm up just to do something like this [he lifts his right arm with his left arm, only bending at the elbow]. And yet God through His provision is just…He’s healing me. Slowly. Not fast. Slowly. So I can do this [He raises both arms above his head in praise].

Amanda: [She laugh/cries].

Peter: Just give Him glory for what He’s doing in my life, and how He’s changing my heart. To focus on Him. To Him be the glory, not anything else. [Peter is waving both arms above his head back and forth, pain free]. Whether He takes my life or He keeps it, it’s all for His glory. And I just praise Him that I can do this. And I just look forward to seeing what He’s going to continue to do. But again, whether that’s on earth or in heaven, to Him be the glory. Amen.

Amanda: And we were saying that if He were to heal you for one more day, we’re thankful. Thankful for one more day. One more day with our kids. One more day with each other.

Peter: It’s all a blessing. It’s better than anything life can give. Amanda and I have had such an awesome evening. We’ve just been here at the house, dancing, praying, listening to music, just praising our Lord Jesus for all that He’s done in our lives. And how He takes schmucks like us who make stupid decisions and choices in life, and just turns them…He uses those to bring us to our knees so that we can see every trial is actually a blessing. And only when you go through that trial, can you understand that it is a blessing. And the world will never understand that. You have to go through it to experience it, so that you can even understand what this means. I’m not a guy just waving my arms, I’m a guy that’s praising the Lord because He’s doing great things. And He’s going to continue to do great things. He wants to do it in all of our lives. But we have to submit. And sometimes we submit willingly, and sometimes we don’t, but it’s all coming from a heart where He wants to bring us into connection with Him so that we can enjoy His presence. So I’m nothing more, than I’m just happy to be a guy who has stage 4 cancer—they don’t even know what kind of cancer it is—and I can wave my arm, and I wasn’t even able to wave it two days ago. Even this morning. God’s so good, and we’re just enjoying the Lord right now. I just praise God that He’s divine. He’s bigger than this world.

Amanda: And this is not all that we have to look forward to.

Peter: No, this isn’t all we have.

Amanda: This is nothing.

Peter: You know, I’m a 35 year old guy just enjoying my bride. You know we don’t know what the future’s going to hold, but God is so good. And I’m excited just this moment. Not about the future, not about a minute ago, but just right now. Because God is in the moment and He wants us to enjoy this moment. And I’ve been made weak so that He is strong, and I pray, “God, more of You, less of me.” And in order for that to happen He has to drain me, and He has to bring me low in order for you [us] to become more of Him. He must always have supremacy. He doesn’t share His glory with anyone. He shares it with no one. He’s God and God alone. And I praise Him for that. Cause I fought against that for years. There’s times I questioned Him. And I questioned, God, why do You allow things to happen? It just seems so illogical. But you know what? I don’t have everything up here [points to his head]. And it’s when you’re brought low, and Christ is brought up, that things start to come into clarity, and that you start to understand that there’s so much more than what I can see, what the mind can comprehend. He’s God. Not me. He’s God. And so again, I just… I’m a guy waving my arms, got cancer; don’t know what’s going to happen. But I’ve had a…I’ve had a wonderful time with the Lord. I’m not saying this is a permanent healing, but for this second right now I’m praising the Lord. And that’s all that matters. That’s all that matters.

Blessings!

Natalie

If I could have special ordered the most perfect 37-hour journey home I could have imagined, this would have been it. But then again, maybe we did special order it. All of your prayers bathed our journey with God’s provision. We had no missed connections, no delayed flights, no lost luggage and most importantly, no meltdowns or temper tantrums. The children did wonderfully! It was so special to watch them experience so many things for the first time.

Seatbelts….after buckling everyone into their seats and demonstrating how to use the seatbelts, there was a constant clicking of children unbuckling and re-fastening those amazing contraptions.

In-flight personal touch-screen televisions….everybody’s fingers got a workout as they jabbed continually at various parts of the screen in the hopes that something magical would appear.

Escalators….this was hysterical! In Germany during our 5 hour layover, we explored escalators, elevators and moving sidewalks. Naomi cracked me up as she rode the entire length of the escalator hunched over into a ski-like position.

Automatic faucets and toilets….Leah excitedly called me into her bathroom stall to demonstrate how the toilet flushed every time she stood up. And then we spent 20 minutes playing in the sinks, waving our hands under the automatic faucet, and giggling as the water splashed little fingers.

Jello….Micah enjoyed playing with it much more than eating it after he discovered that jello “jumps” when you throw it towards your plate.

We arrived home at 2:00 in the morning but forgot our exhaustion as everyone explored their new surroundings. Bedrooms had to be thoroughly inspected, new toys opened, and a middle of the night family swim party was instigated by my husband. By 4:00, all children were tucked into bed and got a solid 5 hours of sleep. We have spent the last few days re-setting our body clocks, catching up on missed sleep, and enjoying the “honeymoon phase” of our time at home. I can’t even be responsible and unpack our luggage because it is all being treated for bugs! So instead…we play!

We have been in and out of the pool all day, every day. For 4 children who have never been swimming before, my kids are sure little fish! They jump in from the edge, put their faces in the water, and “swim” across the shallow end over and over again.

We have also introduced the kids to bike rides. They have watched movies at the orphanage and so have seen bicycles in action. They hopped on their seats and then sat there, waiting for the bicycle to start moving. Levi said over and over again, “Bike no go. Bike broken. No batteries.” After we explained that they had to use their own legs and muscles to make the things move, everyone had a grand time riding in circles around us. All using training wheels, of course.

Our first few days home have been filled with joy. We know that this honeymoon phase won’t last forever, so we are enjoying every minute of it now! We are so thankful to be entrusted with these little souls. We have had the privilege of introducing them to so many things – ice cream, escalators, swimming pools, bicycles and most importantly….Jesus Christ. This Sunday will be our first time attending our home church as a family of 8. Maybe we will see you there!

Blessings!

Natalie

I just woke up to my last morning inEthiopia. After spending 3 months here, Africa has left an indelible print on my heart. Africa has taught me a lot in the last 3 months.

Africa has taught me patience. Everything here happens at its own pace. You can’t rush things. And if you are running late, NO BIG DEAL! (I hope I remember this lesson.)

Africa has given me a new appreciation for missionaries. How selfless to give up your family, your friends, your entire life and move to a foreign place to serve the Lord. I don’t think I could do it!

Africa has reminded me to be thankful everyday. How often we focus on what we do NOT have…a new car, a new house, the latest fashion, free time. The people here do NOT have….running water, 3 meals a day, heat during the cold nights, medical care.

Africa has taught me a dependence on God that I have never had to find before. Only He could provide what I needed. Only He could be my All In All.

Africa has taught me how to pray. Deeply. Fervently. Unendingly. Every morning here when I open my eyes, my first thoughts are prayers. I beg God to give me what I need to face this day. And He does.

And today, as we close this chapter in our lives, I am grateful. Yes, these last 3 months have been harder than I ever anticipated. Yes, the road was long and the mountains were high. Yes, we head home now to face the most challenging battle we have yet had to face – the battle for our children. But through it all, God has been faithful. He loves me. He provides for me. He carries me.

Yesterday in church, our last church service here in Ethiopia, we sang this familiar song. And the words resonated in my heart….

Through many dangers, toils and snares

I have already come,

Your grace has brought me safe thus far

Your grace shall lead me home.

Yes, we have already come through many dangers, toils and snares. God has brought us through. And God will lead us through the next chapter in our life – the one that will undoubtedly be filled with many challenges.

God’s grace will lead us home.

Blessings!

Natalie

I had the best conversation with our maid and our cook tonight. As they were cleaning up the kitchen after dinner and I was making a pot of coffee (yes, I need coffee at 6:00 pm just so that I can make it until bedtime), our maid asked me, “You have two servants or only one servant at home, Mama?”

(By the way, I love it that they call me Mama. It is because I have 6 children!)

I answered and told them that no, actually I had no servants.

“Just one servant, Mama?”

No. The language barrier must have gotten the best of you. I said I have NO servants.

“Ay! NO SERVANTS! Mama, you do all cooking AND cleaning AND washing clothes? You have someone helping you take care of children?”

Nope. Really. No servants. It is just me.

This set off a lot of chattering in Amharic in the kitchen between the two ladies. They couldn’t seem to understand what was happening. You see, in Ethiopia, if you have any money at all, you hire house help. First of all, living here takes so much more work you need other people to help you. Secondly, it is considered selfish to not provide a job for someone if you can afford to. And third, paying for help here is so much less expensive without having to worry about minimum wage and health insurance and such silly things.

As we continued our conversation the ladies made it clear that they were very worried about me. How was I going to manage doing all of the housework and taking care of the children without any help?

I wonder the same thing myself sometimes.

Actually, I wonder the same thing myself pretty much all the time.

But I realized something tonight as I talked to these wonderful ladies. I may not have any servants, but what I do have is so much greater than that.

I have a God who gives me what I need every day.  ~ The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning, great is Your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:23

I have a family who has been involved with this adoption from the very beginning. Grandmas and Grandpas, Aunts and Uncles, Sisters and Brothers…they are all anxiously waiting back home to love on my kids (and I am pretty sure they are waiting to love on me too)!

And I have an amazing network of friends…all of you. You have cried with me, encouraged me, prayed for me and rejoiced with me every step of the way. I know that is not going to end just because we are home. In fact, I am counting on this! I need you.

And so I come to you with my request. Will you help me? I know I cannot do this alone. So many of you have already told me, “Let us know how we can help!” And so I am. This is how you can help.

1) Continue with ALL of your prayers. Our family is going through some major adjustments right now. Yes, we have a lot of joy! Every day is filled with blessings. But we also have a lot of tears and a lot of emotions to deal with. Every day also has its trials. Please lift our family up in prayer.

2) If you have any questions at all – about adoption, about our family, about my children – please do not hesitate to ask me….IF MY CHILDREN ARE NOT WITH ME. If my children are standing right next to me, please be sensitive to the fact that many of your questions will bring up a lot of emotions for them. It would probably be best not to ask about their birth parents if they are within hearing distance. Thank you.

3) Give me grace. My children are scarred. They are imperfect. They are disobedient. As are we all. It will take some time to unlearn some of the behaviors that have helped them to survive in life up until this point. And my parenting might not look exactly as you think it should. Part of the reason for this is that children from orphanages are parented in a little different way, especially at the beginning. And part of the reason for this is that I just have no idea what I am doing. I make mistakes. A lot of them. All I know for sure is that I am doing my best.

4) Bring me food. Yep. I would love to not have to worry about making dinner every night. If you would like to bless my family with a meal sometime, then I would love to accept it! My dear friend Christy set up a meal schedule for us here. Just click on the link www.takethemameal.com. Search by last name Putnam and password great 8.

5) Invite Joel and Hannah over for play dates. When we first arrive home, my schedule will be filled. All four of my new children need to see doctors, dentists, dermatologists, counselors, orthodontists….you get the idea. It would be wonderful if Joel and Hannah did not have to tag along to every one of these appointments. And, it would be wonderful for Joel and Hannah to get a little break from all of the emotional upheaval that is a part of our life right now. If you want to invite them over, please do! They would love it. I would love it.

I know that I have no right to ask all of this of you. You have already supported us in so many ways. Financially. Spiritually. Emotionally. I have even had friends and family at my house painting and moving furniture to get bedrooms ready for me. In fact, I debated with myself many times over whether or not I should write this blog to ask for more help. I feel slightly guilty asking for MORE. But the truth is, we need you.

And we thank you.

And we love you.

I am sharing this picture just because I can. Isn't he the cutest?

 Blessings!

Natalie