My life is busy!
I guess 6 kids, home schooling, football practice, gymnastics, doctors/dentist appointments, teaching fitness classes, and dealing with my girls’ sister drama will do that to you!
The thing is, I was kinda made for this. It is almost like God had this planned for my life from the very beginning. He instilled in me many of the skills needed for managing this life.
He made me organized. I love lists and schedules and chore charts and lesson plans. These things make me happy.
This makes my heart smile
Our home school schedule 🙂
He made me optimistic. I naturally see the good in things. Finding the silver lining has never been my problem. I am so thankful that MOST days and in MOST situations, I find joy.
He made me Mexican. Really this has nothing to do with anything, but it just makes me happy!
But…..
He did not make me relaxed. No. I actually thrive on pressure and energy. I am definitely not the one who brings peace into our home.
He did not make me slow to anger. Daily I have to fight against my hair-trigger temper. I have to take deep breaths and talk myself down from responding to my children (or my husband) in un-loving and un-kind ways. Many times I fail. I have a hard time viewing the situation from anyone else’s point of view.
He did not make me patient. This is the down-side to the organized part of me. If anything threatens to interrupt my plans for the day, I get VERY impatient! Fighting and crying between the sisters? Forget trying to deal with the root of the issue! Dry up those tears! My schedule calls for grocery shopping. Somersaulting down the stairs and landing in a heap against the wall? Wipe off that blood! I have an appointment to get to! (Okay, maybe I am not that bad. Or just maybe I am.)
The problem is, sometimes I am so focused on my to-do list that I forget to LIVE. Do you know what I mean?
I was recently reading Ann Voskamp’s book One Thousand Gifts and I settled on the chapter entitled “a sanctuary of time.” This whole concept resonates deeply within me.
A sanctuary of time.
What a lovely idea.
We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. Psalm 39:6
“All our busy rushing” sounds a lot like my life. How about yours?
And this….
“Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I’ve ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing…. Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away.” Mark Buchanan
Ugh! This pierced my heart. Am I so busy being in a hurry that I am going to wake up one day and realize that I missed my life?
I am so often guilty of not being fully present with my children because my mind is so busy planning the next thing.
Have you ever heard this quote before? “Wherever you are, be all there.”
I am trying to make this my goal. Being ALL there. For my children. For my husband. For myself. So I don’t wake up one day and realize I missed it all.
Ann Voskamp said this, “I just want time to do my one life well.”
Me too. Oh Lord, help me. Me too.
Blessings!
Natalie
Well, I must say… He made you Mexican so you could be amazing at Zumba! All that hip-shakin’ doesn’t come easily for a girl like me! 🙂
Hijola! Being in a hurry is a ‘exican thing’ too!! He created you in His image and you are a joy, a blessing AND ALOT of fun to be around….expecially when a child lands at the bottom of the stairs without harm…..thank you Jesus for your daily provision in ALL things!
Love you dearly daughter!!!!
Oh my word, you spoke to me today girlfriend! I am so that same woman! I over schedule most times because I know what to do with a schedule and with a bit of chaos and then when everyone (who I expect to be like me in that way) is dilly dallying around, I get impatient. I have been focusing on this same concept of slowing down, breathing in my kiddos, my husband, my life! RELAX (easier said than done!) It is a hard practice to make a new default of reaction! We are one in the same sweetie (you have a couple more kids though (wink wink)). You can do this, we can do this. Every time I want to lose it with yelling, impatiences and frustration I take a deep breath FIRST, get oxygen to my brain stem (vital) and be silent before I yell….lol….. usually keeps me from yelling! If you don’t yell they have to try harder to hear what you are saying. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t, but I am getting better! You are amazing and the best part of it all is recognizing it! If you don’t recognize it, you can’t try changing it! Love you Zumba sista!
We just talked about this in our Bible Study this week – the sin of busy-ness. There was a time, once long ago, that I would spend time in the morning with God asking him for my “to-do” list, knowing that peace came through doing what HE wants me to do in that day, not crossing things off my list or accomplishing tasks I have decided I want to do. Thanks for reminding me I need to do that again.