I am feeling a bit discouraged today. This waiting thing isn’t all that its cracked up to be! When we received our referral and found out who our children are, our adoption agency submitted us for a court date in Ethiopia. At that point they told us to expect to wait 3-4 weeks until we found out when that court date is, and then another 4 or so weeks until we travel. Well, tomorrow it will be 6 weeks since we were submitted to court. And we just received an email that the courts are requesting two more pieces of paperwork for our file. Once those are turned in, they will assign us a court date. So 6 weeks, and we still don’t know when we are going to see our children! We are still waiting! Waiting for the paperwork to be completed. Waiting to be able to book our plane tickets. Waiting to hug our children for the first time.
I keep reminding myself that God is in control. He knows the days and hours and minutes of our lives and He knows what is best for us. He has been in charge of the timing of every part of this process. But honestly, I am having a hard time with this! I feel like crying!
I am very much a planner. I have my to-do lists organized by the week. I have my days scheduled and I don’t like to be late! I like concrete plans and knowing that things will happen as they are supposed to. So pretty much….all of that is out the window right now. And, being a mom of 6 kids, I have a feeling I won’t get it back anytime soon.
Scott keeps reminding me that when we have six kids, I shouldn’t expect everything to run smoothly all the time. He says it is ok to be late. He says it is ok to have a messy house. In fact, just the other day (and he seriously said this…this was not a joke), he came home from work and told me that he thought it was great that I wasn’t stressing myself out over having a dirty house! He thought I was practicing for the mess that six children will make. But no…I just hadn’t had time to clean up yet after Easter weekend and all of our company.
To try to encourage myself I read an on-line bible study on waiting. Here is what I took away from it…
WAITING and HOPING are wound together like the strands of a rope.
Waiting involves an expectation of something special. Waiting means anticipation, expectation, confident hope in something that will take place. Ultimately, waiting on the Lord is like waiting on the sun to rise—waiting expectantly for the Lord’s answers to human needs as the sun brings the warmth of the day.
The ability to wait on the Lord stems from being confident and focused on who God is and in what God is doing. It means confidence in God’s person: confidence in His wisdom, love, timing, understanding of our situation and that of the world. It means knowing and trusting in God’s principles, promises, purposes, and power.
Thank you God for being exactly who you say you are. Thank you that I can trust that every single one of your promises is true. Thank you for loving me and wanting only the best for me. Please help me to remember this when I am short-sighted and only focused on what I can see. You see ALL and you know ALL. Help me to wait patiently upon you.
Blessings!
Natalie
Favorite verse during a tough time of waiting in 2010: “Wait for the Lord…Be strong and take heart, and wait for the Lord.” I am waiting, but I do have something to DO…I am to BE STRONG and TAKE HEART. 🙂
Waiting with you!
You have a wise husband! Waiting is always about trusting and it sometimes feels that it never gets easier, but that is where God wants us to reside. In the meantime, there’s nothing wrong with crying! 🙂 Know you are being “prayed up” through the process…
And don’t forget that there is an enemy at work. The phrase, “The devil is in the details” is not a flippant saying. Keep praying and just like it took God awhile to answer Daniel’s prayers because of opposition, God will prevail, even over a bureaucracy!
Natalie,
Sometimes we, (and I say this with experience), hold on so tight to our control over scheduling and our to do lists because we receive comfort from it. It makes us feel like everything is doable and we can conquer the tremendous job ahead. Yet it causes us distress when all our planning is mucked up and we are left in a pile of planning papers that are all of no use now, or need to be planned out all over again. Sometimes it is easier to LET GO AND LET GOD, but we say “NO, no! I’ve got this under control, I can do this.” Sometimes the hardest thing is to LET GO. Sometimes the best gift to ourselves is to fall…and let go. My prayer for you tonight is that you will allow yourself to fall into God’s hands and he will support you through all the ups and downs of the journey ahead. Sleep well Sweet Natalie!
So what I needed to see today Natalie! Amazing how similar we are….and God knew your story would minister to me in my totally different circumstances. Waiting sucks…..until we can truly LET GO AND LET GOD, and then…..suddenly it’s this uniquely fun experience. Hard for us planners to do, so worth it when we can. Love your blog, your family, and praying for your confidence in God on this unique journey.